• strlcpy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    6 days ago

    I have an active social life but mostly around shared interests, eg book clubs, sports, some activism, etc. Classic friendships not so much, having drifted from childhood friends. Feels like we live in different worlds. My partner has taken that place.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      yeah same. i do stuff. i see people. none of them are my friends.

      i haven’t had a close regular friendship since my early 20s. mostly because back then we had lots of free time to do nothing but talk about our feelings and shit. once i graduated i no longer had that luxury in life. on the flip side, i was incredibly lonely/depressed most of HS/college sometimes to the point of suicidal thoughts… even though I had many close friends and was socially popular. once i graduated and started spending most of my time alone… i stopped being lonely.

      all my old friendships ended because we became radically different people and no longer had any common interests or values. same thing with all my romantic relationships. i never found a partner who wanted to grow or change like I did, so we broke up.

      • FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca
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        8 days ago

        OP’s post history is fascinating. You have to check out the modlogs of their deleted posts to get the full story. OP is obsessed with 21-23 year olds dating people over 30. They also seem very conflicted about their stance on it, sometimes defending those relationships and talking about their plans to write a story where the hero is dating an older person, other times saying it’s wrong and asking why such relationships in fiction aren’t called out as wrong, and saying heroes should stop it from happening

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          7 days ago

          Oh, so OP got dumped for an older person and is fantasizing about getting a revenge older partner, and then whiplashing back to irrational hatred of the concept of a moderately age gapped relationship?

          If this is the case, statistically, more likely OP is a dude than a gal.

          Oh, and below this is another comment saying they’re obssessing over a 25+ yo virgin being worthless.

          … Uh, yep, yep, that also fits this scenario.

        • moondoggie@lemmy.world
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          8 days ago

          Oh man, this is that one? I went through their history a couple of days ago when they made one of their weird posts.

          • FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca
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            8 days ago

            Some stuff seems to be missing from the modlogs, I distinctly remember a post about Reed Richards and Sue Storm and their age gap

        • nocturne@slrpnk.net
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          8 days ago

          And then there is the obsession with virginity and being useless if you are one and over 25.

  • Wugmeister@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    9 days ago

    Scheduled friend time. I have a lesbian friend who has never seen Madoka Magica so we do weekly watch parties. My childhood bestie hosts a weekly Twin Peaks watch party and we theorize together. I have a couple friends who my wife and I do D&D with. I also have an autist friend who I churn butter with since that shit is boring af alone.

  • TronBronson@lemmy.world
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    8 days ago

    The big fall off is around 28-30 when most people are committing to families. After that you’re lucky to see them once and awhile.

    • snoons@lemmy.ca
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      9 days ago

      Me too except also unemployed… I don’t remember which came first.

  • jeffw@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    You mean at work?

    Oh wait, am I supposed to actually see my non-work friends? I thought we just needed to text each other

  • Mobiuthuselah@mander.xyz
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    9 days ago

    40s, most days each week. My wife and I schedule couch rotting days to recharge.

    Edit: I hadn’t read through many other responses before I commented. Not trying to flaunt or anything. I just wanted to let younger folks know that social life isn’t necessarily doomed as you get older. We don’t have kids (which makes it easier,) but many of our friends do. They just have to be deliberate about setting aside time for themselves which can be tough to do.

  • Cousin Mose@lemmy.hogru.ch
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    3 days ago

    I’m 36 and don’t really consider myself to have friends. Working from home for years and just not really “clicking” with people in my city keep me isolated but it’s alright. The few social functions I find myself obligated to attend kind of suck so I don’t feel I miss out on much.

  • Acamon@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago
    • 25-30 living with a flatmate, seeing friends and being sociable & fun all the time, probably 6 days a week on average.

    • In my 30s, living alone, having a longer commute and more responsible job, still made the effort to see different friends, with something bigger (dinner or game night) once a week. So seeing folks 3 / 7 days.

    • 40s moved with partner to a different country. So now it’s seeing friends 4 times a year when I go home, and another 2 or 3 times when they come visit. Definitely less than I’m happy with, and sometimes it’s a source of frustration, but it’s mostly OK. It’s nice having the different experience of having a friend stay for a week, feels a little like being a teen when friends would sleep over.

    I need to improve my language skills so I can spend time with my partners friends here. But because of demands of life, work, renovations, etc I think that even if my friends lived around, it would be closer to once/twice a week. Also, it’s worth noting that as well as having lots of good friends who enjoy spending time with each other, I’m lucky to have lots of friends without kids or busy careers. One of my closest friends has both those things, and we really struggle to even fit a videocall in. But my autistic crafter buddy is good for a chat and a cup of tea anytime.