I was reading about Mel Gibson’s anti-semitic rants, and his apology about being drunk* when I remembered this meme. I agree with the meme, that our brains tend to feed us what we’ve heard from our environment, but our conscious mind overrides that with our processed thoughts.
People use “he didn’t mean it, he was drunk/high” as an excuse for racist/misogynist/whateverist comments. The response is typically “you don’t become racist when drunk, you just drop your inhibitions and reveal who you are.”
But if you agree with the First Thought meme, what if being impaired isn’t revealing what you really think, but is preventing you from thinking at all, and just getting stuck on your conditioned response?
*Gibson is just an example. This post is not about litigating whether he personally is racist, but about this sort of behavior in general.
I can sort of agree that someone who has to fight their natural inclinations is a better person in a way, than someone naturally “good” who doesn’t question themselves.
But drunk guys I think do show who they are. My ex was a reasonable guy for a long time but when he started drinking it all fell apart. He was mean trailer park dad when he was drunk, racist, sexist, abusive. My husband now, when he drinks too much he is just the dopey “I love you” guy.
So I’d argue that, while I absolutely agree with taking a moment before speaking, part of the point of that exercise is to train your mind to be less of an asshole, so over time you become more thoughtful. Mel Gibson does not get a pass from me, he’s old enough to know better.
Thanks for your POV. Your ex sounds just like my friend’s ex. I also get silly/Fun with alcohol, it must suck to be an angry drunk.