So it’s gonna be burnt out and addicted to coffee?

Is this one of those things where you pick 4 to protect you, while the rest try to kill you? What about all the other plants which are trying to kill me in spring?

It doesn’t count unless you celebrate your birthday.

How does it feel like being 0 years old forever?

Did she try to mess with your pokemon save? I think you should dump her to teach her a lesson; she’ll never expect that!

Africa: Yes, I really am that big, actually.

Shit, look at you moneybags. How much did it cost you to post that?

Ok, but how many times per week should I get a new skin-mask? I find that if I try more than twice per week, maintaining the prison pit will start to be a real chore.

o lawd the chonky photon is coming

A mighty sword arm anchored by holy purpose - a zealous warrior!

I did not have the rise of Austinism and a catholic crusade against (what I assume is) the US in my bingo card for late 2025.

Gotta admit, it takes some balls to mansplain Christianity to the Pope.

It’s such a sorry state of things in the modern world that every fluid gets declared super just for participating.

Super participation trophies smh

The universe created life just so it could finally have a wank.

Checks out.

I don’t know about chemistry stuff, but as a leftie this would make me thrilled because of the labeling side.

So often the labels on various unsymmetric things are on the side which would face you if you’re holding the thing right-handed. I’ve lost count of the number of times I pick stuff up on the opposite side of the handle just so I can look at the label.

How nice of that big boobied lady to do your dad’s shoelaces.

I wish I got a dollar on that condition.

I’d have so many dollars.

And we know this is a fictional story because we know that in real life, terrorists are not sentient.

Don’t you just hate it when actual patients tend to have some stupid skin all over their muscles