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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • I am not saying you’re wrong about the commercialism aspect, but I think of it a little differently. Many people are uncomfortable receiving a gift without reciprocating or if there is no “reason” like a life event. The holidays are a set time to do a gift exchange, and reciprocity is more likely to be possible. I buy gifts literally all year long, but often hold on to them until Christmas time if I know the recipient will be more comfortable doing a gift exchange rather than being surprised. Part of being a good gift-giver is sussing out the type of gift receiver you are dealing with (I don’t tend to give Christmas present to folks who have made it clear they hate Christmas).


  • Undergrad in History and International Relations, because I intended to become a diplomat. Realized an anxiety disorder was probably not going to make that a good career choice. Decided to go to nursing school, got an associates in “science” working on the pre-reqs and then decided to go to grad school for public health and epidemiology instead.

    Honestly I love school, I don’t regret any of it except that I was too nervous about quitting my job (I worked my way through to cover what grants and loans didn’t) to do a term abroad. I should have taken the five weeks in Berlin.




  • I haven’t seen this mentioned elsewhere, but at least in my anecdotal experience women seeking taller men is another symptom of patriarchy being toxic to everybody.

    When I was growing up the pressure on women was to be as thin as possible - in essence, take up as little space as possible. I love the body positivity movement for starting to change that mentality but for me the damage was done in my formative years and has never gone away. It has resulted in me being physically uncomfortable if I am the biggest person in the room. The taller/broader a guy, the smaller I am by comparison. It’s completely fucked up, I’m quite tall so there are LOTS of incredibly attractive men shorter/thinner than me but I could not have been comfortable dating any of them without a lot of therapy for myself first.

    I never put anything like “nobody under 6ft” on a dating profile, though, so maybe I’m off-base.



  • I grew up in a cult where the expectation was that I’d get married and have multiple children. Luckily my own parents somehow managed to raise me right in spite of the indoctrination, and when I went to college I realized both that I could choose and that I didn’t want kids.

    After my partner and I had been together for 15 years or so, we started seriously rethinking being child free. It was something we decided to do together. My kid is now about to turn 9. I adore him and love spending time with him. I still don’t much like other children and I never considered going through pregnancy again. My partner and I have talked about potentially fostering or adopting if we manage to retire early, but I’m content either way.




  • Anecdotal, but I think this tracks with what you’re asking. I have never been obese, but due to family history of both connective tissue disorders and diabetes it has always been extremely important to me that I keep my weight in a normal range. It took an intense amount of mental effort on my part, religious food tracking and extensive exercise for decades.

    When I started on a GLP-1 (due to a weird health situation that’s not really relevant), the amount of mental energy I needed to expend to maintain my weight was suddenly gone. I don’t feel sugar cravings like I used to, so I don’t need to stay so vigilant about my diet. I don’t spend my days monitoring my intake, planning out a rigorous fasting schedule, working out more than I’m naturally inclined to just to counteract that brownie I couldn’t stop myself from eating. It’s both a literal and emotional weight off. I am taking a very low dose but even so I honestly can’t believe the difference. I am one of the ones who was will-powering through calories in/calories out and it was miserable. Now it’s just…not.




  • I was recently hand-picked for a promotion to backfill my boss, but when HR came to give me the offer they told me my old pay grade was identical to the new one (yeah, I know, that’s weird as hell). Anyway, they told me it would be a lateral move, BUT I would be moved into the management bonus structure which historically has been 8% quarterly. Once I accepted (yeah, I know, I’m looking at other options) they told me I didn’t actually qualify for any bonus payout until April of 2026.

    I’ve had bonuses in the past that were as low as $5, this is by far the worst and will be the reason I leave.