I once confirmed an appointment over email by saying I’d ‘be there with bells on’, and the other person took offense. I guess they thought the use of the old-timey phrase was me being sarcastic. I thought it just showed my enthusiasm for the meeting. You just can never tell what will hit a person the wrong way.

A genocidal maniac getting to off himself in a secret bunker isn’t what I’d call justice.

Seat belt jamming is so rare that neither the NHTSA nor the AAA track it as a statistic.

As for the glassbreakers, here’s the big thing that most people don’t realize: They’re designed to break tempered glass, which is what most cars used to have for the side windows. However, modern safety regulations—specifically, the “Ejection Mitigation Rule” in the 2013 Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standard 226 (FMVSS 226), mean that most manufacturers have transitioned to laminated glass for the side windows.

Laminated glass (which is what the windshields were already made of) is tougher to break, and is now used to prevent occupants from being ejected through the side glass.

An AAA research report tested six commonly-available glassbreakers. Not a single one of them was capable of breaking through laminated glass—and two of the tools couldn’t even break through tempered glass, but instead broke themselves. On the glass.

Imagine getting to jerk off your instrument while changing notes.

Anhedonic Sugar Cookie

Swap neg b with b square and you got it. I have recently used the quadratic equation for what I hope is the last time ever.

Edit: Oh, and I think it’s 4ac.

I’d watch Luke guzzle blue milk for 10 hours before I’d watch a second of RoS.

The root of our dysfunction is greed and lack of empathy, and it shows up in a number of ways that extend far beyond politics.

Only took them 80 years to admit that, yes, Nazis ruined a perfectly good cross for everyone.

… then hallucinate a couple more.

Giant Red Panda

Or the poor adults who can’t be bothered to parent their own spawn.

I don’t know man. I started using whitening toothpaste last month and I’m already getting pulled over by the cops a lot less.

Gunman Luigi

Someone already did

Everybody’s gettin’ webshots.

But once you do…

I agree. A pizzussy is in no way a type of pizza.

LibreOffice: Jan 1, one half, one third

I’m not sure that recognizing someone’s suffering is the same as feeling that suffering. Empathy is feeling another person’s suffering as if it were your own. So, to hurt that person would be to hurt yourself.