Used to make margaritas that way in college. Get the frozen limeade mix and replace half the water with equal parts cheap silver tequila and triple sec. Slice up some fresh lime on top if you’re feeling fancy.

They’re really good but will absolutely wreck your shit.

It has been 17 fucking years since i worked fast food and even just reading this phrase still makes me scream internally every time

Wow, they got like halfway through the narcissist’s prayer in under a paragraph.

Ah. Now I get why DeLauro endorsed this shit. Sikorsky is in her district. What a fucking sellout.

demolished his case for owning it

The “case”:

I’d put good money that he doesn’t understand the metric system. Just give him the measurements in cm so it’s a big number and he’ll be the proud owner of approximately half a park bench.

Nasssty tricksy anitfas

It really does feel like some asshat sat down and thought to themselves “you know what the satanic panic needed? More racism”

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Cruella

I almost want them to give Obama a second one just to see if it gives Donnie an aneurysm.

I mean, if what we call AI was actually AI, sure, maybe. This is just glorified autocorrect.

I think at the very least, when he goes, the absolute orgy of backstabbing amongst the various factions on the right will result in not a hell of a lot getting done for at least a good 4-6 months. What happens after that is entirely dependent on the timing of his death, who’s left standing at the end of said infighting, any major world events/possibly natural disasters in the interim, and (if he’s still in the picture at that point) Jimmy the Loveseat’s ability or failure to herd cats.

Can we also launch him into space?

It would probably work really well for graphic novels, since they do occasionally have panels or illustrations that span both pages.

Welp, best of luck Flyboy. You’re a miserable sack of wet turds as well but I’m all in favor of more infighting.

Figured it wasn’t gonna be that specifically when he announced the speech by saying “the best is yet to come”. Even the warhawkiest war hawks wouldn’t refer to war as “good times ahead”; they generally go with ‘unavoidable’ or ‘necessary’ or some ‘I am very badass’ murica type shit. That being said, I was pretty concerned he was going to announce a whole array of new and interesting human rights violations.

Him jerking himself off for 20 minutes like we got was honestly kind of the best case scenario.

Well, second best anyway. Him having the other kind of stroke live on air would have been the actual best case.

He also absolutely seems like the type to leave a doctor’s appointment about how his diet is killing him and get McDonald’s on the way home.

Can you imagine being Trump’s doctor? He’s gotta be a fucking awful patient. Firing people who tell him things he doesn’t want to hear is his favorite past time.