Somebody set fire to a wall mounted bin with a firework inside it.
The deputy head went to put the fire out, the firework went of almost blowing his face off, allegedly, I didn’t see it as I was already in detention for an unrelated incident.
The deputy head storms straight into where I’m sat on my tod for detention and asks what do I think I’m playing at almost killing him.
The headmaster gets called in and everyone’s grilling me to confess for setting the bin on fire while I was in detention the whole time!

£1.99? That seems worth a punt.

If England was playing Israel at football, who woukd you (A Scot) support?

Isn’t it short for narcotics?

Oh great, back to square one!

By Odins beard, thank you!
I’ve just been assuming someone’s trying to voodoo me and almost getting there.
This is a great relief.

Is this the pain that feels like a knitting needle getting rammed into your chest and only lasts for like 2 seconds but it’s two second you think “Shit! I’ve been stabbed” and everyone around looks at you because you’ve Just reacted like you’ve been stabbed.

Break out the xc skis!

I think they’re talking about books you’ve read in the library and decided not to check out, not books you’ve already checked out, taken home and are now brining back.

Slice and dice

I would hate to know how many hours I’ve spent on this game. It’s disgustingly addictive. I love it.

I have a headtorch like this. Keep it charged and most of the time everything is good. But that one time when I’m out skiing at night and shit goes wrong / I run out of charge it’s OK because I have a couple of AA’s in my bag as spares.

I would assume it’s the child’s age, they don’t want to broadcast personal details of their child on the Internet so they refer to them by their age so the context of the story still makes sense.
If they just called them as Son or daughter and told the rest of that story I would assume their still living at home in the parents basement 27 year old was just a dickhead.

Skate park.
We had one when I was young but it got demolished to build a supermarket. It was devastating.

Arrgh, where are they. I used to have so many kick ass shirts and I’ve no idea where they’ve gone. I reckon my wife has been putting them in the charity shop but she denies it.
It’s not like I come home drunk without a shirt very often. Not often enough to account for the number of shirts missing.
Whats going on.

“It is what it is” when describing a bad situation.
No, that’s defeatist as hell, it will be whatever it will be when I’ve given it everything I can to make it better.

Have you read the “John dies at the end” series by David wong / Jason parquin?

The OP picture is actually on the page you listed.

This, and to stop giving your kids sweets.

Check out the willful child series of books. The captain Hadrian Sawback (possibly spelt wrong I’ve only listened to audiobooks.) Always sends down all of the top officers and is constantly reminded of how bad an idea it is.

We do that. My friend and i have worked together across many jobs and industries over the last 20 years.
We recently TUPE’d from one company to another and we were worried we’d get split up as you never have two fully qualified people in our position in one team but we recieved an email from the new company saying they had recieved word from our previous employer that under no circumstances were we to be split up as we work as a team and get more work done than any 3 other teams.