If the Epstein files have proven anything, it’s that these idiots use plain text email.

Punching down is lazy. He’s just another lazy black man.

See what I did there? See how it wasn’t funny?

The magic of the holiday is made by us now.

We really need to improve Thanksgiving, for this exact reason. More songs. Better story. Free stuff for kids. Just something to keep Christmas in check.

I went to look at your posts to see all the great content that you’ve provided to the community.

It looks like your high horse is pretty short.

I put the line horizontally so I get to eat just the bottom half.

PETA is shit.

Don’t let that stop you from considering empathy towards animals. Pigs shouldn’t suffer because of bad representation.

Your stomach breaks down aspartame directly into phenylalanine and aspartic acid. It’s just the two glued together.

Unless the claim is that you’re absorbing aspartame through your esophagus lining?

The school sorts you into one of four gangs for this express purpose.

My wife makes street corn at home, but sometimes she gets lazy and just tosses chili powder on it instead of doing the whole spice blend.

She also doesn’t read very carefully.

That’s how I learned that corn on the cob with cinnamon is actually fantastic.

Oh, no, you’re mistaken. Suicide watch in American prisons is where they watch you commit suicide, usually with encouragement.

Phenylalanine and aspartic acid. They’re just proteins.

It was EXACTLY what I thought

Also avoid potatoes. They have the same ingredients as aspartame.

You can’t rebel unless it’s in god’s plan. Ergo, he’s putting on a little puppet play and playing both sides.

a lot more people are in a similar situation

There’s been a massive increase in white people being pulled over and arrested for no reason?

ICE is snatching white folks now?

Shit, I missed a lot of changes I guess.

The previous baby in front of the tree was too woke

Or they just drop the =

inspecting packages without harmful X-rays

A real boon for detecting testicle cancer.

Ford didn’t say they regretted it.