For real, I am even calling over friends for help to set up a Windows PC or a printer. I have absolutely no idea about technology and computers. I want something easy and mainstream because this way I have an easier time getting support. Two steps are one step too much. I have a lot of strengths but understanding tech is definitely not one of them. And frankly, I neither have the time nor interest to learn anything about it. I have a great respect for linux and I have fond memories of playing a game on my dad’s computer, but it’s not something that’s for me.

I’ve studied nutrition science and we talked about what you described and yes, the blunt “truth” is that liposuction is the only reliable way to really get rid of “emptied fat cells”. There are a lot of things playing into the dreaded yo yo effect but the fact that it is much easier to refill emptied cells than to make new cells via division is definitely a big factor.

(“Truth” is in “” because I dislike this term in a scientific context but english is my third language and it’s pretty late over here so I am struggling to find a better suited word)

Good luck on your weight loss journey. It is an incredibly hard and brave one to take and I admire that you are trying.

I 100% agree with everything you said. I am very much pro legalisation of weed and decriminalization of all drugs. Unless you are cooking up tons and tons of fentanyl you shouldn’t be in jail.

To me, education and awareness includes not equating marijuana and oregano.

I am making the argument for both, that is exactly the point I am making. I see too many people demonising alcohol and calling marijuana not dangerous in the same sentence, comparing it to oregano. Both substances are dangerous. And of course marijuana is addictive, what are you talking about? You can absolutely become both physically and mentally addicted to it. You can develop a tolerance, and you can trigger psychosis in predisposed younger people. I’ve seen all three cases in university and it wasn’t pretty.

Again, I am not advocating for the criminalisation of possession or consumption. I am only advocating for not downplaying that mj is a drug. Right now, the narrative parallels that “a glass of wine or two won’t hurt”, “let’s have a beer with friends”, “let’s get the champagne to celebrate”, “alcohol is fine at social events” that we used to hear some decades ago about alcohol. It didn’t end well. Why are we doing this again with weed now?

While I absolutely don’t agree with atzanteol, this statement is also utterly ridiculous. You own both marijuana and oregano with the intention of consumption. One of them is addictive, can cause psychosis, and can destroy lives.

All drugs should be decriminalized. So should weed. Maybe it even should be legal. But let’s try to not repeat the same mistakes we did with alcohol. Nowadays I think most people would agree that alcohol can be consumed in moderation, but its overall effect on public health is devastating and alcoholism is a real problem that affects way too many people, also people you wouldn’t think of. Science revised its guidelines of claiming a little drink a day is fine or even healthy to the best choice is no drink at all.

Its dangers were downplayed for so, so long. And now that we are legalizing weed I see the exact same sentiments about it that alcohol used to have. Marijuana is not an innocent, harmless substance. It can easily be abused and cause damage to individual lives, families, and friends.

I mean, it’s fun and all for a while, until you realize that 8/10 people have developed a moderate to severe drinking problem by the age of 25.

Yes. Bavaria specifically.

Don’t be, we all graduated as alcoholics

It’s absolutely acceptable to go to a university lecture at 8 am, and sit in the front row with a beer. The professors won’t mind. You can buy beer in the cafeteria as well as in a vending machine at the library.

Pulling out a bottle of hard liquor is frowned upon tho.

Thinking about that cab driver who was so pissed when I asked him to please not watch a movie while driving. dude had a tablet attached to the window in front of him

deleted by creator

It’s twins actually, Lulu and Nana. The gene editing might have increased their cognitive function.

I don’t know why, but I cannot bring myself to condemn the editing.

In our school in Germany there was an observation: students who do well in math usually have somewhat worse grades in statistics. While students who were bad at math often did better in statistics.

In grade 12 and 13 it went like algebra, statistics, geometry, geometry (per semester). Basically, you either got A B+ A A, or D B- D D.

Writing this down I realize they should absolutely make a statistical analysis on these results.

Are you friends with Dave?

Honestly, the judgement of parenting is not my main issue here. It’s the hypocrisy of at the same time saying “this is your problem, not mine” and “you have to deal with your problem so that I am not inconvenienced.”

Like, you can’t have it both ways. Either you don’t care, and then other people deserve the right to also not care about your opinion, or you do indeed care, and then it is your problem too. Your quote about not being part of the village is the one that I am saying fuck off to. You want to take yourself out of society and of the context, yet expect the other part to not take themselves out of society. You don’t even decide to look away, you decide to look with destructive criticism. I don’t see how this is supposed to help anyone, you included.

You come off as the type of person who will look at both the kid and the parent in disdain for being a nuisance even when they did something absolutely minor that you could easily avoid, ignore, or get away from. Are you assuming the kid will differentiate between your reaction towards them and their parent? Or that your reaction has no effect on the parent’s treatment of their child, perhaps in a more negative than positive way?

As for the judgement part, as I have pointed out somewhere else, you are seeing a sniplet of a day, of a life, of an hour. Yet you feel like you have enough information to rightfully judge. It’s correct that the kid might be subjected to bad, neglectful parenting and the parents do not care if their kid behaves awfully. Or you might have just met them in a vulnerable, bad moment. Somehow you know tho. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt or, God forbid, ask whether yoh can help? Offer a supporting smile to someone struggling? Why be hostile instead?

Because even if you took a perfect parent who does everything according to textbook from beginning to end, the kid will still have meltdowns in the most inconvenient and absurdly embarrassing moments in public.

And I have seen way too many parents who devote an insane amount of time and effort to their parenting, are reflected and have the best intentions and approaches, are incredibly level headed and collected (definitely not me tho), and give it their all, still being talked down upon by absolute strangers if they cannot make their preschool kid calm down within ten seconds. If these parents don’t stand a chance in the eye of public scrutiny, then I just don’t even know how a normal parent who doesn’t spend 24/7 thinking about their parenting choices has a chance.

I’ve also seen cases of what I would call bad parenting. Shaming, yelling, ignoring cries for help. But at least I can realise that I don’t know the full story. So unless I have a direct offer of help (tissue, water, bandaid, carrying something, etc) I let them be and hope that they know what they are doing and handling the situation to the best of their ability. I also know a kid who died of shaken baby syndrome because the new partner of their mom couldn’t handle the cries. I’d much prefer he ignored the cries and tantrums instead of killing the two year old boy.

I can’t find where the yoga pants part was supposedly said

Judgement is only partially the problem. You are never as full of yourself as a parental figure as before you become one. Neglectful parents should be held accountable, that is not the core of the issue.

What bothers me immensely is the thought that “your kid, not my problem, but actually it is my problem, because I want them to behave differently”. This is like eating your cake and have it too.

The other thing that I find awful is that just existing on the outside (for some families even inside) is so anxiety evoking because of all these judgements. Parents end up micromanaging their kids and berating them for minor things because they are so fucking scared that people will judge them or yell at them for not having a picture perfect child that you can overlook. Children are not allowed to show any childish behavior on the outside. And this is what bothers me so much. You have to constantly choose between supporting your kid and gentle (not neglectful) parenting where you don’t yell or hit and simply being on their side or trying to appeal to the scrutiny of the public eye because it wants perfect order and quiet.

When you go vacationing in a child friendly country (looking at you, Croatia) and you feel supported instead of frowned upon for the exact same behaviors of your kid, because they are just having fun and not destroying anything and just minding their own business while not perfectly sitting still, then you just understand how shitty it is to go every day feeling the cold stare of everyone around who wished children would just die out.

Neglectful parenting is worthy of judgement. What I take an issue with is that what you observed was a situation - it was a snapshot of a whole day, of a whole life that these people lead. Is the issue that they didn’t care, that they didn’t try to console the kid? How often did you, as an adult, get mad and calmed down after someone said “calm down”? Are you just bothered that they didn’t remove the kid from the situation for your convenience, as well as for their own embarrassment asap? There can be so many reasons why the kid screamed (didn’t get a piece of candy, didn’t get to throw over cans of beans - which you wohld also not like, probably and understandably -, was told to calm down, had a fight with a sibling, hurt themselves, couldn’t get a booger out), why the parents didn’t care (did they not care, did you see them after they had already tried to calm the kid down, talk to them, walk them through everything, do they try not to give more attention to something that was already talked about, or, god forbid, might they just be absolutely exhausted after the 5th tantrum with no reason in a row), why they didn’t leave (great idea to leave behind a full trolley with products for the workers to put back and go home with no groceries after having already spent time and energy to go to the store and have the shopping almost completed, also cool lesson for the kid that it can just yell long enough if they don’t like being somewhere so that they can leave. Works great in schools and hospitals too). But you saw that and decided the kid is feral and the parents are awful human beings that should have no right to a kid.

You both say that’s not your problem and they have to work it out, yet you are absolutely making it your problem and demand they work it out in a way that you find suiting.

I see so many people who think that if you are just loving and caring to a child and work them through their emotions and all they will be just reasoned to calm down. Man, this isn’t even how it works for adults, with developed brains. You guys don’t just expect too much of parents but also of kids. They cannot reason themselves out of these situations just as their arms are simply to short to wipe their own butts for the first three years.

And you might think you only judge the parents and not the kids, but the kids do feel your disdain. They feel your lack of compassion, understanding, and companionship. They learn so fast that the world is full of people who don’t like them. I’m not even going to start with the parents who are being judged no matter what they do. They are judged because their kid is their own person, that has a personality, and if that isn’t a pleasant personality, well fuck them. And if their kid is pleasant, then they have been too controlling and demanding and were too strict and helicoptered them into obedience.

If you, however, have friends or relatives that you know and see regularly and can make a more sophisticated guess on their parenting style, that might be another issue. Still a high horse to judge from, especially when you don’t have kids, but at least you have more than one point in time to make assumptions from.

Yes, I have a lot of anger for people who meet the most vulnerable parts of our society with hostility. I have an immense anger for people who don’t think these vulnerable people in the making have a place in society.

Congratulations on not being allowed to scream in public, ever. Did you good. Your parents had shitty standards and now you want to enforce these on other children so that they will also grow up and hate children. Great idea.

Then, politely, fuck off.

Children are a part of the society that you live in, whether you liked it or not. I don’t know who hurt you, but you were also a child once. You pooped your diapers, you cried, you misbehaved. How your parents have treated you when you did these things has a very direct effect on how you behave and think right now. My guess is they were shitty, it would explain your irrational anger and hatred towards kids.

Misbehaving in public is a necessary step to learning how to behave in the first place. It’s a learning by doing thing. You won’t get your child prepared to act kind, nice, and considerate with other people if you don’t let them meet other people. You cannot teach your kid how to behave on the outside at home. How is that not obvious to you? It is inconvenient, it is annoying, it is hard, and it has to be done so that we don’t have underdeveloped, immature, dysregulated asshole adults a generation’s time from now.

Parents are always obligated to watch for their kids and show them how to behave. This doesn’t mean they can, or should, control their every move, word, reaction, emotion, or behavior. If a 3 year old cries and it is uncomfortable for you, that’s your problem. It is not the child’s or the parent’s duty to shut them up with a gag ball ffs. It is their duty to help them resolve and guide them through their overwhelming emotions. So that they will grow up to be emotionally healthy adults.

Children have an innate need to play. They learn via playing. They learn via trying things out and touching them. They learn to walk and run by walking and running - and falling and failing. They also learn about the world from the world’s reaction. Being met with disdain for solely existing and breathing won’t help them to grow up to be adults with a lot of self worth.

You don’t get to decide who is part of the society and village you live in. You don’t get to cherry pick your neighbors.

You don’t want kids in your village go live in a cave.