My most boring side, the one that likes to go in long tangents and really cares about stuff.

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Joined 5 months ago
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Cake day: August 10th, 2025

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  • I’m veeeery extremely biased because ILA ended up becoming our very first connection with my now partner, but I love it soo much. I relate to Amy a lot, and there are a lot of fun characters to explore (and cool ships aside from canon). According to my partner who knows ab this stuff more than I do, there are very little GL media with the kind of ending ILA has, so that’s a nice selling point I think.






  • As someone who was suicidal as a child and never thought to make it past 18:

    I guess I just like living. I like putting the effort and seeing the results, even if it’s a lot of effort for just a small payoff. I also like knowing that I matter, and that people around me are happy with my pressence.

    I also really like the thought of making a change. Be vocal about my life experiences and maybe changing someone’s mind. Swimming backstroke to be true to myself, and making a stance. The normal way is not the only way, you know?

    I also adore art. I like connecting to a piece of art, seeing human emotions molded into such a fasinating sound, ambience, coreography, phrase, whatever. Knowing that someone felt something so strong and constant, that they had to rush to create something, and express it, share it with everyone with a tint of creativity, just as I do.

    To answer your question, I’m gonna go with: Find something you like, and just keep doing it. I love creative works and human expression, but maybe you like something else. Biology, technology, cooking? Connect with it and start small. A small flower in a pot is enough.

    The only way I can now describe how young me felt, is blind. I spiraled into a really awfully negative nihilism after an ugly life event that made me stop believing in God (to this day I consider myself an atheist, and I don’t think that’s ever gonna change. And I don’t want it to change). I thought that life did not have a purpose, that all the suffering and the pain and the bad thoughts were all for nothing, since there was no meaning to it all. My only refuge to the pain was daydreaming about a world in which I was never born, in which I didn’t hurt my friends. Everything else, didn’t matter. The things that made me happy weren’t working.

    The years went by, the feeling stayed there. “Why do this, if I’m gonna end up dying anyways?”.

    But eventually, my vision started changing. Maybe it was just growing up, maybe it was meeting new people that challenged my perspective of the world, maybe it was finding my currently favorite music artist and seeing his journey. My memory is a bit foggy due to all the trauma, sorry. But my vision started going upside down. Suddenly it clicked for me: Life has no meaning, but that’s not actually bad. It’s freeing, actually. Existence being inherently meaningless meant that I had no greater expectations. If there truly was no meaning, what’s stopping me from doing what makes me happy, and just keep doing it? Besides life obligations, I could do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. That’s prime environment for experimenting, for discovering myself, and finding my own, small, not cosmic-level meaning that made me wake up every morning: Happiness. I was gonna fight with life so I could get the happiness I deserved, and that’s what I’m doing to this day.

    I know this answer won’t magically cure the depression of everyone reading this. Some people just have fucked up dopamine receptors, some people do cling to religion, some people don’t have the amount of freedom in their lives to do what they truly like. But I’m throwing my story here for the chance that it lifts at least one person up, even if that motivations lasts for just the rest of the day.

    I also know the future is looking real bad. The things I thought I could be doing 3-4 years ago are off the table. And people seem more hateful with each day passing. That has taken a toll on me. Sometimes I just want to quit. But I’ll keep fighting, for the people who cannot.




  • Currently rip my CDs and then listen on my phone/PC as digital music. I also pirate music from artist I find problematic to avoid supporting them, and pirate old music I used to listen to which I plan to purchase later (not really in the position to buy all the music I’ve listened for free in my whole life, plus I feel like I’ve streamed them enough to support them, so I don’t feel that guilty). My partner has vinyl records, so sometimes I listen to that, too. Also the ocassional concert when I can afford it, of course, I need that sweet live music.

    My current favorite band… Probably Twenty One Pilots? I don’t listen to a lot of bands lol, I mostly listen to solo artists, in which case my favorite artist is by far Ren.

    I like Twenty One Pilots because they’re like everything teen me would’ve loved. Specially a fan of Self Titled / NPI era. Raw garage-tier songs about your problems with God, and faith overall? Sign me tf in, I’ve had quite the history with religion.

    And I like Ren because of his hard-to-label music style from song to song, while so very clearly being a Ren song, with all of his theatrics, lyricism, life struggles, cynisism, and a splash of religion. I’ve been following him for a while and it’s amazing to see so far he’s come.

    Speaking of Ren and Twenty One Pilots… They’re playing at a festival together next year (REN BARELY PLAYS LIVE)… And I can’t fucking attend because it’s in another continent. fuck me.





  • On my way to voting right now. Odds are looking real close, Kast used to be on the lead but over the last few days he’s been losing a lot of support because of dumb shit he says on interviews and live debates (think of Trump, fucker doesn’t know what he’s proposing, pulls stats out of his ass, etc).

    Really sad to see that the other option (the one that won’t take away my rights) is such an insufferable pos too. Fixates way too much on personal attacks and never focuses on the important stuff that she actually has good ideas for. That has gotten her so much bad rep from both sides (Seriously, go watch a Jara v Kast debate, shit looks like high school).

    Hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

    EDIT: why do I even try man for fuck’s sake