“It’s about that time I realized it wasn’t a Meme at all, it was the loch Ness monsta!”

Proof that Michigan is the Florida for the north!

Exactly, circumcision isn’t mandatory by law, unlike some of the draconian laws some states have and/or are trying to pass.

So Michigan winters!

If you see something, say something… and get shot.

They really had us in the beginning, and the middle, they actually had us the whole time, and I take every word as true.

Puppy dog bouncing in a box like this!

Public pissing pot

As a smoker I’m consistently finding places to smoke away from people, it’s only polite.

The doctors throught it was kidney stones, too late to break them up so I have to wait and pass them, it hurts, 23 hours of screaming in the bathroom and finally it popped out. I wipe my eyes, straned from hours of tears, peering into the toilet bowl, and there he was, swimming scared frantically trying to climb up the smooth porcelain. I quickly pull him up toward me, so smooth, his shell seems to vibrate, first subtly, but as I softly stroke his back the vibrations becomes more pronounced.

He turns to look at me, as my tears of pain turn to joy, he slowly approaches my face, seemingly both hesitant and curious, his tiny, freshly formed pincers outstretched. I pull him closer to my face, and I swear there’s a matching tear in his eye, now near touching I feel… Pinch. I now know why I was placed on this earth, he needs me, but funny enough, I think I need him more!

What’s really sad is if I die in my sleep, my boss would be the first person to notice I’m gone.